fasterfood:

"God damn it!" i yell as i stub my toe on a table. suddenly from the sky, i hear god reply "okay". the floor splits open, revealing a pit to hell. god pushes the table down into the pit, and then it seals up. he actually did it. god damned it.

120,523 notes

  • east coasters: i drove through 17 states on the way to work
  • west coasters: i have been traveling in this desert for 49 years. generations have died. children have been born. when will i make it to the promised land
  • Midwesterners: I haven't left a 20 mile radius in 2 years
  • floridians: please help me there are so many oranges they are attacki-

116,620 notes

poshxspice:

subject13fringe:

montypythonandtheholyblog:

today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket 

image

today on satan makes a blog post

394,024 notes

mlssfortune:

kneeldownbitches:

mlssfortune:

gonna give the boys at my school a taste of their own medicine

Let me tell you something. This shit is so strong that you only need to use it one time for a god damn week. This flowery bullshit woke me straight up from my sleep when my roommate used it. And if you think leaving the area is gonna help well then you’re fucking wrong. It stank up the whole fucking house. All I could smell was the female equivalent of what the fucking male spray does. I’m one more nights-sleep-ruined away from pulling a SloMoGuy’s and taking an axe to the damn can.

do you.. do you need a hug

mlssfortune:

kneeldownbitches:

mlssfortune:

gonna give the boys at my school a taste of their own medicine

Let me tell you something. This shit is so strong that you only need to use it one time for a god damn week. This flowery bullshit woke me straight up from my sleep when my roommate used it. And if you think leaving the area is gonna help well then you’re fucking wrong. It stank up the whole fucking house. All I could smell was the female equivalent of what the fucking male spray does. I’m one more nights-sleep-ruined away from pulling a SloMoGuy’s and taking an axe to the damn can.

do you.. do you need a hug

4,123 notes

unofficialdragon:

likeakidinabookstore:

annaolphant:

id hit up barnes and noble during the purge

signs you’re a book addict #1: when you’re willing to risk being brutally murdered for free books

image

image

121,921 notes

forthewinoswin:

oh wow this fic looks super cute let me just check how long it is

image

image

27 notes

worthyourweightinfanfiction:

armadillo:

REAL TALK IF THERES A FIRE AT MY SCHOOL I AM NOT WALKING IN AN ORDERLY FASHION AND THEN GETTING MY NAME MARKED OFF IM RUNNING FOR MY LIFE AND IM TAKING MY GOD DAMN BAG WITH ME 

one time there was an unscheduled fire alarm and i just happened to have my bag on my shoulder when it went off so my teacher made me go back into what, to his knowledge, was a burning building so i could put my bag back

(Source: bastille)

243,562 notes

nerrrdstark:

delicately-interconnected:

imkirby:

Laverne Cox should play Wonder Woman

Or a woman should play Wonder Woman

  1. Laverne Cox IS a woman.
  2. Your blog claims to be about feminism but you obviously don’t understand feminism. Feminism is not about supporting females like you say on your blog. It’s about supporting women.
  3. You’re trash.

33,395 notes

obveously:

pizzatomb:

imagine if china, while they’re up on the moon, decides to knock down the US flag or whatever just to say ‘screw you’ and its like, what are we gonna do? spend a couple million just to fly some craft up to the moon and re-erect the flag? the whole scenario would be petty and that’s hilarious 

i have lived in america my entire life and i am 100% sure we would do exactly that

(Source: exeggcute)

285,886 notes

q-seb-vaughan:

lunar-bunnie:

my

image

don’t want 

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unless you’ve got

image

image

My snakes dont want nuns unless you have bunny ogres
?

39,183 notes

another-cecil-cosplay:

belovedmonsterbooty:

betterthandarkchocolate:

neutrois:

policymic:

Intimate photos of agender youth challenge society’s gender norms

"I think a lot of people like to see gender as this scale of blue and pink," Emma, a 20-year-old college student, told the magazine. "I never really identified with either side of that, or even in between blue and pink. It’s so much more complicated — my identity varies so much on any given day. Sometimes I tell people I’m gold or something."

Read more | Follow policymic 

I appreciate that it includes a bit from the original article, which clarifies:

"This growing community encompasses people who see themselves as agender (neither male nor female), bi-gender (both genders) and gender-fluid (shifting from male to female)."

THIS IS SERIOUSLY THE FIRST TIME I HAVE SEEN A PHOTO SET OF AGENDER PEOPLE ON THIS SITE!!!

*BOUNCES UP AND DOWN IN EXCITEMENT*

as usual there’s some gross comments so don’t scroll too far down past the article but this is otherwise good

(( not WTNV, but it’s important to me as a gender-fluid individual, so reblogging anyway. ))

(Source: micdotcom)

50,772 notes

ironicallysayingswaggie:

philsandifer:

skalja:

  • Favorite thing about this scene: the Doctor acknowledging his part in sending a companion mixed signals instead of blaming their response to his signals on irrational human-ness (and femaleness). Now go back and say this to Martha, Doctor, preferably with an actual “I’m sorry.”
  • Least favorite thing about this scene: fandom missing the point and continuing to insist that Clara’s a horrible shallow person who just wanted Eleven to be her boyfriend and dislikes Twelve because of that

Overture to a post. 

i think im in love with this

(Source: storybrookewinchesters)

26,687 notes

buhkybarncs:

George Weasley and

(x)

7,549 notes

zackisontumblr:

i have 3 moods:

  • skips every song on my ipod
  • lets the music play without interruption
  • plays the same song on repeat for days

622,754 notes